


Isn't This The Way It's Supposed To Go?

by Shade_Penn1



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, False Identity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23661286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shade_Penn1/pseuds/Shade_Penn1
Summary: Relationships are never easy, especially in the Apex games.
Relationships: Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Isn't This The Way It's Supposed To Go?

_He still had the audacity to smile, even staring down the barrel of a peacekeeper. Crypto's finger held the trigger, mouth set in a grim line. "Guess we're just supposed to keep finding each other." Mirage grinned._

_Crypto's jaw clenched. "You think making jokes will get you out of this?"_

_Mirage's eyes glinted. "I got you."_

_A click of a trigger behind him had Crypto whirling around too late. Point blank-he didn't stand a chance. Nothing but darkness engulfed him and-_

Crypto's eyes snapped open, his heart hammering in his chest. He rolled to sit up on his bed, letting out a shaky breath as he ran a hand through his hair. The last match was so vivid still, the gunpower filling his lungs before the de-darkness took him. It was a dream-but that was a lie, because it happened, and it would keep happening. 

It was like some sick irony the person he always seemed to be on opposite side with was Elliott. Crypto leaned back on his bed, but found sleep wasn't going to be coming any time soon again, not with his thoughts in such turmoil.

_You knew the risks going into the games would bring_ , he told himself, but even with that, he hadn't expected for Elliott to get past his defences. _And now every match you're forced to kill your...boyfriend_. The word rattled in his mind, with how surreal that alone was. How this hadn't been a part of the plan.

And yet...well, loneliness might have had something to do with it.

-

Just run away, _Mirage chanted in his head, eyes locked on Crypto holding his decoy at gunpoint, Please, just run away. Of course Crypto wasn't a mind reader, but the audience wanted a show. This was the perfect bamboozle after all._

_"I got you."_

_Mirage's gut twisted, and his eyes briefly met Crypto's as the other man whirled around-and then he was gone. Mirage's fingers tightened on the gun, just to stop the shaking-just to keep from dropping it._

_The audience wanted a show, and losing his composure wasn't what they wanted to see._

_He forced himself to smile, holstering his gun before shooting finger guns to a camera probably nearby. "And that was number 9."_

_Bile rose in his throat, but he forced it back-just like he forced it back everytime-_

Until he didn't have the cameras on him. Elliott heaved until his stomach was empty and acid burned his throat. Dragging himself to the bathroom sink, Elliott splashed water over his face, rubbing his forehead. Bloodshot eyes stared back in the mirror, and he narrowed his eyes.

"You're Mirage, super star and awesome, no one's better at using holographic tech than you." _Because no one else has that as their gimmick_. "You and Hyeon both knew what you were getting into. We are great, there's no chance he could hate me for just doing what the fans want."

_Right?_ Elliott's eye twitched. _No, he wouldn't-you're just worrying about nothing. Like usual_. Though what if he was wrong? What if Hyeon did hate him? Crypto trusted him enough to tell him his _real_ name, even though he seemed uncomfortable every time Elliott called him that.

And yet he couldn't keep the little stirring of doubt from seeping into his thoughts again. _And he'll be gone just like everyone else._

-

The compound was peaceful at night, and no one else was up this late. Which was good, because Crypto wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He only wanted to clear his head, and settle his nerves enough to get back to sleep. 

Crypto made his way down the path along the outside of the compound, his breath fogging up the air in front of him. What occupied his thoughts was just how twisted it was to be with Elliott, and the two of them forced to kill each other for entertainment. 

No amount of sugar coating was going to change that fact. The last match was not the first time either of them held the other at gunpoint, but like water erroding a stone, each death chipped at something inside of him.

_Was it a good idea to let Elliott in? Of course it wasn't, but you couldn't stand the thought of another day through this hell by yourself_ , Crypto told himself. The longer he stayed with Elliott, the worse this was going to get; kill, and pretend nothing happened after. 

What about when things boiled over, when pretending wasn't enough? 

-

_Okay, some air will do you good. Clear your lungs, and your head_ , Elliott thought. He sucked in a rush of the cold night air, before breathing it out. "There's nothing to worry about, that's prop-pers-propos-bad. Wait, not bad. Or maybe it is." he muttered, and he rubbed his forehead. He couldn't believe he bamboozled himself.

"Elliott?" 

The man stiffened, turning his head as he saw Hyeon had turned the corner. How much did he hear? Elliott slipped back into Mirage's skin, flashing a grin and winked at him. "We are so in sync."

Hyeon snorted. "Don't flatter yourself. I'm out here for my own reasons."

Elliott huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "You mean I'm not in your thoughts even a little?"

Hyeon was silent for a moment too long, before he answered a touch frosty, "Do you really want me to answer that?"

Elliott straightened up, goosebumps going along his arms. The cold had nothing to do with it, but the edge in Hyeon's expression did. "You're always so serious, lighten up, will ya?"

"Says the one who is walking alone at night." Hyeon retorted.

"I'm not alone, you're here." Elliott said. He reached out to slip Hyeon's hand in his, squeezing for a moment. "Right?"

_Please don't turn me away, please don't turn me away-_

Hyeon sighed, and he squeezed Elliott's hand back. "Yes."

The knot in Elliott's stomach unwound, and how messed up was it that he desperately didn't want to be alone right now?

-

Crypto wanted to be alone, so why was he letting Elliott stick around? The man was unsubtle in every way and the most talkative of the bunch. And in some way, maybe that's why he wanted Elliott to stay. Just so he didn't have to hear his own thoughts anymore. 

_The glint in his eye, the cock of a gun-_

Crypto flinched, and he wrenched his hand away. Elliott's brow furrowed. "Your hand is cold." he said flatly.

Elliott snorted. "Not if you held on long enough." he opened his arms. "Quickest way to warm you up."

Crypto didn't move, his form ramrod straight. Elliott had the audacity to smile-wait, that's right. This was Elliott, this was just the two of them by the compound, not in a death match. When Elliott came to him after the last match, Crypto turned him away because he couldn't look him in the eye. 

He still couldn't, but he wasn't going to turn him away again. Crypto let Elliott hug him, and he held on just as tightly. 

-

_Is this good? Am I doing this right? Did I screw up again?_ These thoughts repeated in Elliott's mind, even as he leaned down and pressed his forehead into Hyeon's air. The shorter man was still tense, but he was letting Elliott hug him. Hyeon always gave mixed messages, but right now it left him uncertain of what to think.

_Eyes widening, the flash of the muzzle-_

Elliott's insides twisted like he got socked the stomach. How many more times was that going to happen? Deep down, the answer was obvious; as long as the Syndicate wanted them to fight. _Please don't hate me, please don't leave me_

Elliott kissed the top of Hyeon's head, then his brow and trailed his lips along the man's cheek before finding his lips with a desperate yearning. He wanted things to be fine between them, would this make things better?

_He didn't want you to touch him after you killed him, he's just pitying you now._

That couldn't be true, right? If there was one thing Hyeon never looked at him with, it was pity. Annoyance, fondness, irritation and want, but never pity. 

Elliott pulled back enough to catch his breath, and blurted the first thing which popped into his head, "I'm good with you, you're good with me, right?" Why did his voice hitch like that? Why did he _say_ that? "I mean, of course you're alright with me, why wouldn't you be? It's not like this is just something the two of us are doing because otherwise it'd be really fucked up that we're just okay with killing each other over and over and-" _Shutupshutupshutup!_

-

"Idiot." Crypto said quietly, cutting off Elliott's rambling. Though, in all honesty, he wasn't sure which of them it was for. Maybe both, because Elliott was right. This was fucked up. 

Crypto gave Elliott his fake name, when all he wanted was to hear his real one the other man whispered when they were together. He didn't want Elliott to always deflect when he'd mention his mother or brothers and make up some excuse to change the subject. Crypto was closed off, it was no surprise to anyone. Elliott could be surprisingly tight-lipped when he wanted to be though.

Their relathionship was strange, with banter and jokes and physical affection-but there had never been anything emotional about it.

_That's not true though, I care-_ he stopped, and the answer was so sharp it made him either want to laugh or scream. _I care so much about this idiot_. Was this just how messed up his life had become? That the person he'd grown to care about was the cause of his nightmare? 

No, it was- "Did you feel anything, when you killed me during the last match?"

-

Elliott stared at Hyeon, because how could he not? _What kind of question is that?_ Something ignited in his chest, and his lips twisted into a scowl. "What, like I enjoyed it? Of course I didn't! I l-" he stopped, before he could say something he didn't fully understand himself.

So he switched the subject, "Don't tell me you did though." 

The glower Hyeon shot him said all it needed too. "No, because why would I enjoy being killed by my boyfriend?"

Elliott's thoughts stuttered, his chest tightening. _He called me his boyfriend, he's never done that_. Elliott didn't know whether that said more about Hyeon or him. "We don't got a choice." he said, but his voice was weak to his own ears, "have to put on a good show, right?"

Hyeon's expression darkened. "It always comes back to that."

Elliott shrugged, and tried to plaster on a convincing smile. "Hey, without the games we probably wouldn't have met." 

And failed not to think of how much lonelier he'd be due to it.

-

Crypto's jaw clenched. He did not want to be grateful to the Syndicate for anything, and definitely not this. _They have nothing to do with us_ , he thought. Even in a different time, under different circumstances where things weren't such a mess the two of them would have met.

_"And this is why you're single."_

Crypto flinched, the words cut deep enough to hurt even now. There were more if onlys, than just about him and Elliott-but this relationship he wasn't going to let anything or any _one_ take away from him too. 

Not until it either of them decided on their own term this relathionship had run its course.

Crypto reached out and grabbed Elliott's hand, whose brow furrowed in confusion. "I had a sister, but she's...gone now, and losing someone else I care about is...unbearable. It is the reason I have had trouble sleeping tonight; had our situations been reversed, I do not think would have been able to pull the trigger again."

Elliott stared at him, eyes widening. "Oh."

-

Why had he said that? Out of everything Hyeon just told him, _that_ was all Elliott could think to say? _Smooth, Witt_ , he scolded himself. "I mean, you didn't have to tell me that."

"Of course I didn't _have_ to." Hyeon retorted. "I am simply telling you why I was out here."

_Saying you lost your sister and com-co-com-scared of losing me too is a big leap to make_ , Elliott thought. He squeezed Hyeon's hand back. "Is this the part where I'm supposed to share back?"

Hyeon shrugged. "I can't make you, if you didn't want too." he drawled.

Despite the bleakness, Elliott smiled just a bit. "Good thing I don't have any weaknessess." Hyeon snorted, his lips twitching. Though maybe Elliott did have one weakness, not that he was ever going to admit. "And I'm not saying I'd ever go easy on you, but I don't...really want to put a bullet in you ever again either."

Whatever slight reprieve Hyeon must have had was wiped clear from his face, mouth setting in a grim line. "Then it appears we have a dilema. Neither of us can't _not_ kill each other, but it is clear that both of us...care deeply about one another."

Elliott stiffened. "What? I-well, isn't it a bit early to say that?"

Hyeon gazed at him with a flat, certainty in his eyes. " _I_ care for you then."

_Well, now I feel kind of like a dick_ , Elliott thought, because it was probably not easy for Hyeon to say that. "Don't leave me out, I-uh-you know, like you too. Anyway, what's your master plan then?"

Hyeon tilted his head. "There are a few options, although they would merely be a salve to the bigger issue-at some point, we need to talk about this." he frowned when Elliott winced. "Think of it less of having a problem with each other and more...trusting each other."

"Don't we do that already?" It sounded hollow, even to Elliott. 

While it was nice that Hyeon let Elliott hug and kiss him and joked with him...there was always the underlining tension of if or when Elliott was going to screw things up and drive him away. Maybe it's why things never got to the point of sharing personal information-well, until Hyeon went and just did that. 

_It'd be easy, to just stop before things go too far. Or maybe things are already too far_. Elliott honestly had no clue to what the answer was. 

What he did know, was he didn't want Hyeon to leave him. Elliott wanted this relationship to run it's course, for however long it lasted. _Trust, huh?_

Elliott pulled Hyeon in for another hug. "How much do you know about holotech?"

-

Crypto leaned his head against Elliott's shoulder once more. "Not much." he admitted. "My knowledge about it ends with the fact it's what makes up your kit."

"It's so much more, it's am-ama-az-great!" Elliott buried his face into Crypto's hair. "I mean, I'm always great, but I get my genius from somewhere. My mom taught me everything she knew." he laughed, a bit weakly. There was a stiffness in his shoulders, as if he was waiting for the ball to drop.

Crypto closed his eyes, before his expression hardened in resolve. "My mother is...not biologically related to me, but I'd like to think I got my intellect from her, she certainly taught me to channel it into...constructive outlets."

"Hacking?" Elliott teased.

Crypto snorted. "Not at first." 

Inexplicably, the tightness in his chest loosened just a fragment. It was not the naivety that talking about Mystik was helpful (even if it was), but that he held himself back from talking about _anything_ of his old life, let alone twice in one night.

That man was gone, true, but maybe he didn't have to be with Elliott. Maybe he could finally be able to hear his real name once more. Eventually.

Crypto let out a sigh, and intertwined his finger's with Elliott's. "Let's go back into the compound, before we catch a cold."

Elliott let out a sharp laugh. "Hell of a way to get out a match though."

Shaking his head, Crypto lead Elliot back onto the path. They both had a long way to go, but step by step they would do this together.


End file.
